You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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