If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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