Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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