need another drink. this is the easiest way
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
