I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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