I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize