come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They took my balls.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
