what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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