I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
