if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
