It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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