break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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