That's intense
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
