Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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