what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
