I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
