i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
