you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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