We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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