My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
