from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
