I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
