It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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