Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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