happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
