Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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