we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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