Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
