My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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