Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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