nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
