Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
