do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
