Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
