he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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