He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
