My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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