idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
