Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
