Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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