return my video game
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
