Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Randomize
