Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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