And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
