sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
