How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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