You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
