i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
