I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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