I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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