I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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