I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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