I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize