Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
