I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize