theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
