yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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