East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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