taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
