Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
