So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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