ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
