do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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