What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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