She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
