i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
