is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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